I just found puke in my bra..
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
