quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Randomize
