K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
my sisters under your porch take her home
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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