think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
