Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
