The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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