yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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