If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
