when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I need moral support for this bender
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
