ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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