omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I wish there were birth control emojis
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
