You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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