Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
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