He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
