We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
