YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
