we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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