Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Randomize
