She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
