i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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