Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
