I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
