It's Friday. Sex?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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