People in love make me want to vomit
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I think a kid would responsible me up
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
My life is pants optional.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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