why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
