She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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