i think my tv is drunk
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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