it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
