did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
