We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
