you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
