Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize