she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Farmville is her only friend.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
