I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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