This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
