If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
