What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
