i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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