I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
