super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
