they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
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