I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
