Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
