somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize