This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
