I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
