I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
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