To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
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