Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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