No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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