You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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