i don't want you to think of me as your TA
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
