Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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