how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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