so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
