how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
