:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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