Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
