I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
