I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Randomize
