I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
