hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
