Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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